Awareness Days

Walking into work this morning, the big digital sign that hangs above the food court alerted me that March is National Caffeine Awareness month. The month is there to bring awareness to caffeine use, abuse, and even addiction.

It seems like every month is some kind of awareness month or other. Every week or day, for that matter. As I write this essay on Friday, March 10, I’ve learned that today is, among other things, “Pack Your Lunch Day,” and “Middle Name Pride Day.” I know “Pack Your Lunch Day” by another name. I call it a “weekday.”

It is also “Skirt Day,” and “International Bagpipe Day.” Tomorrow is “World Plumbing Day.” As a child, whenever I had a fever, I had strange fever dreams where I had redo the piping of the entire world. I don’t need World Plumbing Day to remind me of that. Tomorrow is also “Submarine Day,” and the ultra-specific “Oatmeal Nut Waffles Day.”

My birthday falls in March, and it turns out that in addition to my birthday, we can all celebrate “International Whiskey Day,” “Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day,” and “Spanish Paella Day.” Three things that, when combined, should make for hilarious birthday celebration.

In addition to being Caffeine Awareness Month, March is also Nutrition Month, Kidney Month, Craft Month, Credit Education Month, and the all-important Cheerleading Safety Month. It is also “International Ideas Month.” I don’t know if this means March celebrates ideas that come from other countries, or if it is an international celebration of ideas.

There are so many awareness days that some are bound to conflict. June 1 is Go Barefoot Day. It is also Say Something Nice Day. Those go well together for someone with a foot fetish. Not so much for someone who doesn’t like feet. August 1 is Respect for Parents Day, while at the same time it is International Childfree Day. World Religion Day shares January 18 with Winnie the Pooh Day. December is Write a Business Plan month and Tie Month. That works out well. You’ll need to wear a tie when presenting your business plan.

February 29 is Rare Disease Day. Are people are only aware of rare diseases once every four years?

There is no escaping some daily awareness day. I wish there could be an International Nothing’s Doing Day, but its presence on a calendar somewhere would cause a paradox.

This post will appear on Thursday, March 16, which is Lips Appreciation Day, Panda Day, No Selfies Day, and Freedom of Information Day.

Look, I am well aware that I am addicted to caffeine. I don’t need a month to remind me of that. A morning without caffeine does the trick just fine.

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