It’s a “date”

When they say that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, I always assumed that it was a symbol assignment (men being assigned to the god of War and woman being assigned to the goddess of love). Apparently it means something else.

I have recently learned for instance, that there are at least three kinds of dates.

1. A “sort-of” date

2. A date

3. A date date (always pronounced with emphasis on the first word)

When I type “date date” my spell-checker always underlines the second “date” because it thinks I am being redundant. I have yet to be given a definition of “sort-of” date and “date date” that makes any sense to me at all. Kelly has tried. Jess has tried. I’ve asked other people and gotten answers which I find as incomprehensible as macro economics.

Maybe its me.

Each time it comes up, I am reminded of the scene from the first season of The West Wing when Mallory asks Sam to the opera. Sam says, “You’re asking me on a date!” Mallory insists that she isn’t. Sam asks what distinguishes this from a date. To which Mallory response, “There will, under no circumstance, be sex for you at the end of the evening.”

While I don’t necessarily understand the definitions I have been given, I have a somewhat retentive memory and I can spit them back out verbatim. I therefore offer these definitions to anyone who might find them in a situation where they think they are on a date only to discover it was a “sort-of” date. Etc.

Sort-of date
(1) A date in which one of the two parties (usually not the one that is you) feels that the event is much less formal than an actual date; (2) A date in which one of the two parties (usually you), tell the other party that you’ll happen to be at Such and Such Bar at 9 PM, and if you (the other party) happen to show up there for a drink “that’d be cool”; (3) when one or both parties involved find out upon meeting that they are somehow related.
Date
(1) A pre-arrange event in which two people agree to meet at a particular time and place to enjoy one another’s company and explore the possibility of future encounters; (2) a “fix-up” (see also “sort-of date”)
Date date
(1) a one-night stand; (2) a one-hour stand; (3) a 15-minute stand (see also “He/she is so hot”)

These are the definitions that I was given. I repeat them word-for-word as they were given to me. Hopefully, this clears up a lot for you and provides you with an enlightened picture of the world.

Published by Jamie Todd Rubin

Jamie Todd Rubin writes fiction and nonfiction for a variety of publications including Analog, Clarkesworld, The Daily Beast, 99U, Daily Science Fiction, Lightspeed, InterGalactic Medicine Show, and several anthologies. He was featured in Lifehacker’s How I Work series. He has been blogging since 2005. By day, he manages software projects and occasionally writes code. He lives in Falls Church, Virginia with his wife and three children. Find him on Twitter at @jamietr.