Constabulary Notes From All Over

I was skimming through the Jan 9 New Yorker this evening (reading “This Is No Game” by Jack Handy) and came accross this little item at the very bottom of the page in small print. For some reason, this amused me more than the Jack Handy item:

CONSTABULARY NOTES FROM ALL OVER
From the Lewisboro (N.Y.) Ledger

A Flintclock Ridge Road man said he saw a bear in his backyard. Police could not find a bear when the officer arrived. Police said it was possible the man saw two turtles.

How can you not love it?