Adventures of the Little Man: Recursive nighttime conversations

Conversations that take place after tucking the Little Man into bed, usually around 8pm or so. Ordinarily this would require enough dialog to fill the script of a 40-minute television episode. Fortunately for you, I have found a way to abbreviate these conversation, and yet convey the–shall we say– frustration behind them. Call what follows conversation “A.” You’ll see why soon enough.

Conversation A:

Little Man (holding up 10 fingers): “Daddy, you come check on me in two minutes.”

Me: “Ten minutes.”

LM: “No, two minutes, Daddy. You check on me in two.” (He holds up 10 fingers again for emphasis. Maybe he means two hands?)

Me: “Okay, buddy, I’ll check on you in two minutes.”

LM: “And you don’t close doors.”

Me: “Nope, we’ll leave all the doors open. Goodnight, pal.”

LM: “Check on me in two.”

Me (walking down the hall): “Yes, in two…”

About a minute later…

Little Man comes walking into our bedroom. Call what follows Conversation B.

Conversation B:

LM: “Daddy, I need to go peepee in the potty.”

Me: “Okay, can you do it yourself or do you need some help?”

LM: “I’ll do it myself.” (Walks to the bathroom. Pauses.) “Daddy, you come help me.”

He finishes his business.

Me: “Good job, buddy. Now head back into bed.”

Consider what follows as Recursive Loop C

Recursive Loop C:

Repeat Conversation A here.

Repeat Conversation B here.

Repeat Recursive Loop C here until at least 40 minutes has elapsed or a stack overflow occurs1.

Mommy and Daddy finally go to sleep. Until, sometime in the “middle of the night2” Conversation D takes place:

Conversation D:

LM (Walking into our room dragging along his stuffed monkey and bear): “Daddy how come you don’t check on me.”

Me (or sometime, Kelly): “Come on, pal, climb back into bed.” Walk the Little Man back to his room.

Repeat Conversation A here.

Repeat Conversation B here.

Repeat Recursive Loop C here.

Attempt to sleep for anywhere from 20 minutes to two hours and then:

Repeat Conversation D here.

Those old shampoo instructions, Wash. Rinse. Repeat, have nothing on our recursive nighttime conversations.


Notes

  1. A stack overflow of this nature causes an Out of Patience error in object Daddy.
  2. Usually about 11:30pm